We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
