So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
