I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
