hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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