Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
