Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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