is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
NoShamevember. You game?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
