I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
