Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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