I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
