Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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