i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
