If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
