At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
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I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
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She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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