They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize