just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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