I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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