I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
