Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
