all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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