so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
