i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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