two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my shit smells like andre
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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