I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
