ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
