i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
