She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Panties = found
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
