used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
