i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
