She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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