i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
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Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
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I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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