I heard we made out
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
a search helicopter?!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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