I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
