obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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