babies were throwing up all over the place
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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