Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
