Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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