Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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