At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
