she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
