What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
