My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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