She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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