How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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