how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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