As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
