it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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