it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
