Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
