what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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