the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
