i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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