yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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