sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
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I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
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Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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