obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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