sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
