They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
