It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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