i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
