saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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