saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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