So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
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Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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